Life Hack: Understanding Your Values

There’s a moment that comes for most of us - often quietly, sometimes in the middle of a workday, or while staring into the fridge at 9 p.m. - when we ask ourselves: What am I even doing?

The question might come after burnout. After a change that didn’t go as planned. Or maybe after you finally get what you thought you wanted… and realize it doesn’t feel quite right.

If you’ve been there, you’re not alone. And the good news? There’s a tool to help you through that existential crisis. It’s not a new productivity app or a better morning routine. It’s something simpler, older, and more powerful: your values.

Why Values Matter (Even More Than Hard Work)

Values are like your personal North Star. They guide your decisions, shape your relationships, and give your life, work, and relationships meaning. When we’re not clear on our values, we end up chasing goals that don’t actually fulfill us, saying yes when we should say no, or wondering why we feel off - even when everything looks “fine” from the outside.

But when you know your values and use them as a filter? That’s when things start to shift.

Think of it like this: your values help you stop asking, “What should I do?” and start asking, “What’s right for me?”

A Simple and Powerful Values Exercise

Here’s how we walk clients through a values process that’s more reflective than overwhelming, using a frame of values that helps you start wide and narrow to what is most important to you. Values Cards can be purchased or found online, but we love using this free online tool to get started.

1. Consolidate & Prioritize

Use the tool to first sort values that resonate with you and values that don’t. This can be hard, but think, is this something that makes my heart light up with recognition? It might feel funny to discard a value like “honesty” but at the end of the day, this is about getting clear on what matters most to you.

When you’ve whittled down the list to your top 5–10 values ask yourself:

• Which ones feel most alive in your current life?

• Which are being neglected or compromised?

• From there, sort them: Which are non-negotiable? Which are aspirational? (Yes, you’re allowed to grow into your values.)

2. Map Values to Behavior

This is where it gets real. Pick one value and ask: What does this look like in my actual life? For example:

• If “authenticity” is a value → Are you saying what you mean in meetings? Are you showing up online in a way that feels like you? Are you telling the people closest to how you really feel?

• If “connection” matters → Are you spending all your time on impersonal content, or actually connecting with real humans? Are you prioritizing opportunities to connect over other individual tasks that you “should” be doing?

This step often reveals misalignments that are draining your energy.

3. Use Your Values as a Decision Filter

Got a big decision? Run it through your values. Ask:

• Which option brings me closer to the life I want to build?

• If this value were in charge, what would I say yes or no to this week?

Suddenly, hard decisions become clearer—not easier, but clearer.

4. Anchor Your Goals in Your Values

Values aren’t just for vision boards. They can shape your goals in therapy, coaching, or life. For example:

• “I want to reduce how much fear controls me so I can honour my value of creativity.”

• “I want to build more structure into my week to support my value of focus.”

This shifts your goals from shoulds to wants—and that makes them a lot more motivating.

5. Revisit & Revise

Your values aren’t set in stone. Check in with them regularly. Ask:

• How am I living this value right now?

• What got in the way last week? Sometimes the answer will be “I forgot” or “I panicked.” Cool. That’s a starting point.

In the real world…

We’ve seen how having clarity around values can be a turning point with our clients. Especially when people feel stuck, scattered, or overwhelmed.

A lot of us spend our lives chasing ideas of success—only to realize we didn’t define what success actually meant to us. Values help you do that.

They give you an internal roadmap to guide you. They help you be honest with yourself. And they remind you that it’s okay to want things from your life that feel meaningful to you, even if that doesn’t look the same for everyone.

So if you’re feeling lost, don’t just work harder.

Start by getting clear on what matters most.

Because clarity? That’s the real life hack.

About Ever Therapy

We provide a supportive environment for individuals, couples, and professionals to address their unique challenges. Our skilled therapists focus on understanding the underlying causes of struggles such as burnout, perfectionism, and trauma. We aim to foster self-awareness and guide clients toward healing through tailored approaches.

Krista focuses on working with adults, helping them navigate the complexities of burnout and perfectionism, using a compassionate approach to empower clients to develop healthier coping strategies. With a strong emphasis on building resilience, she encourages self-exploration and personal growth.

Morgan, specializes in trauma-informed therapy, providing a gentle space for adults and teens to process their experiences and reclaim their narratives. With a deep understanding of the impact trauma has on emotional well-being, Morgan fosters an environment of trust and collaboration, guiding clients toward healing and self-discovery.

Together, Krista and Morgan are committed to supporting individuals and couples on their journey to emotional balance and empowerment.